The “Sorry ‘Bout Your Boyfriend” Special

It’s Out!

You can listen to “Sorry ‘Bout Your Boyfriend” now!

New streaming links will be added HERE. But if you don’t see your preferred streaming service listed, don’t worry! Just search “Maddi Mae” and “Sorry ‘Bout Your Boyfriend.” It should pop up!

it takes a small village

Thank you to Kyle Miller for engineering and mixing this song in his studio, Lore Audio Provisions (Flagstaff, AZ). He also deserves credit for being a masterful translator of my ideas into reality and a generous guide through the recording process.

Thank you to Dave Wilton for mastering it in his studio, Coalesce Audio (Lafayette, CO). Thank you to Ben Lippard for playing the drums. Thank you to Gretta Miller for hosting me during my time in the studio. Thank you to Gina Nilce for doing the cover photography.

Thank you to Tanner Carlton for understanding and supporting me in exposing bits of our personal life in song – as only a fellow musician (and very good partner) can.

Thanks to Valerie Amster, the Zinns, and Gammer for being my hardcore support. Thank you to my Aunt Michelle, all of my cousins, my Nana, my musician/artist/maker friends, and all of the family and friends I added to my circle through Tanner for supporting me too.

And special thanks to my muse for this song. She helped me heal some past wounds by giving me the opportunity to view this puzzle from higher ground.

With Kyle Miller at Lore Audio Provisions


Sorry that your boyfriend looks at me
But it isn’t my responsibility
To try to myself ugly
So that your man can stay lookin’ at you

Sorry that your boyfriend talks to me
I can’t help it that I’m interesting
I didn’t even know you were a thing
Because your man said nothin’ about you

You love him – I get that
Don’t want to lose him, but you’re real mad
You don’t know me so it’s easy
To take your anger and turn it into jealousy

But I won’t be the scapegoat
Yeah, I won’t be your scapegoat

Sorry that your boyfriend wants to leave
But you shouldn’t blame that shit on me
When he told me the truth about you
I asked your man what the fuck was he doin’

You love him – I get that
Don’t want to lose him, but you’re real mad
You don’t know me so it’s easy
To take your anger and turn it into jealousy

But I won’t be the scapegoat
Yeah, I won’t be the scapegoat

I told your man that we could just be friends
I’m not gonna waste my time on someone else’s boyfriend
I told your man that we could just be friends
That if you two were in love, he should go patch it up
I’m not gonna waste my time on someone else’s boyfriend

You love him – I get that
Don’t want to lose him, but you’re real mad
You don’t know me so it’s easy
To take your anger and turn it into jealousy

But I won’t be your scapegoat
I won’t be your scapegoat

 © 2020 Maddison Hicks

Photo by Gina Nilce

The Story Stories Behind the Song

When I first met my partner, he was in a committed relationship with another woman. I knew nothing of this. You can read that whole story HERE – it’s the story behind my song “Here Right Now.”

On the first night we hung out alone together, I wanted to kiss him. He told me about her before anything at all happened – no hand-holding, no slow-dancing, no hug, no peck on the cheek, nothing.

I kicked him out. I told him off for wasting my time and stringing me along. And then I told him that if he was in love with her, he shouldn’t be treating her that way. Even if he wasn’t in love with her, he shouldn’t be treating her that way.

He ended up righting his wrong by telling her about what had happened, sharing with her how he was feeling (or not feeling) in their relationship, and breaking it off. We started seeing each other after I knew it was completely over – no overlap.

And then she came after me. [sigh]

She spread rumors among his friends and their girlfriends about me and convinced them all to shun me. She called his brother’s girlfriend with some made-up story about me cheating, trying to sway his family against me. And even though that sucked, I just kept trying to kill it with kindness. I let it roll off my back; a sting doesn’t hurt if you’re immune to the venom.

Eventually, the situation sorted itself out. Folks encouraged her to find her own happiness and then blocked her.

But almost nine months later, she managed to contact me through social media. [SIGH]

I won’t give her words power by repeating any of them, but she showed some nastiness. I can let gossip slide, but I don’t accept direct verbal assault. I corrected her comments and then blocked her before I fed into the negative energy any further.

This was two weeks before I flew back out to finish up the album. For catharsis, I had written “Sorry ‘Bout Your Boyfriend” during the gossip-and-shun phase. I hadn’t planned on recording it, but I changed my mind after the last unwanted interaction with her.

Songwriting is my power; I protect and validate myself with lyrics and music. “Sorry ‘Bout Your Boyfriend” absolves me of her accusations by telling the story like it happened (albiet with a bit of sass).

There’s another story behind this single though. Back in highschool, I struggled to connect with other people – girls especially.

Here’s why:

In private, I was living through serious abuse and undiagnosed CPTSD; in public, I was desperately seeking approval and acceptance by being the best I could be at everything I did. But no matter how beautiful and talented and hard-working I was, no matter how much my teachers praised and rewarded me, I was being tortured at home by a jealous mother who wanted to “break my spirit” (her words).

There’s more.

She often sabotaged my friendships and friend groups by isolating me from them. But on this one occassion, she let me go to a birthday sleepover at a new-ish friend’s house. A couple of girls I knew from church were there and some girls I knew from class. I was having such a memorably good time, running around the woods and feeling included. But I got tired and went off to my sleeping bag.

A few of the girls stayed awake, including the birthday girl. When she thought I was asleep, she posed this question to the group (and I’ll never forget it because it scarred me): “Does anyone else fucking hate Maddi?”

15-year-old me (on the floor, in the tie-dye, with my tongue out). Photo taken by a professor during assigned group work.

She went on to justify her hatred by ridiculing me for “stealing every guy she ever liked” and “always having to be the best at everything” and just being too annoying because of my hyper energy and “stupid laugh.”

A couple of girls agreed and the rest just moved on to other conversations. I tried to pretend like I didn’t hear it – that night or at an awkward breakfast the next morning.

It stuck with me. I felt utterly hateable. If my own mom hated me, if these girls hated me – maybe no one would ever accept or love me. Even though I tried to reassure myself by silently listing off everything I had accomplished in school and in music and at work (surely, those things warranted acceptance and love!), I still learned to constantly doubt myself.

But this experience with my partner’s ex solidified a lesson I learned slowly but surely through young adulthood: It’s often easier to burn with jealousy disgused as hate than to address internal fears. For my mom, for those highschool girls, and for my partner’s ex, it was easier to be jealous of me and to hate me than to address their own fears of abandonment, inadequacy, and failure.

Understanding this has given me compassion for those who scorn me. I’m no longer sorry for being beautiful and interesting. I am proud of myself because I’m happy with who I am. Now, I seek out other women who are proud of and happy with themselves too. Women who are self-satisfied grow with each other rather than competing with each other.

grassroots power

Growing as an artist in this music industry is like growing a tree in eternal night, especially with shows off the table. But I have seen for myself the power of unrelenting support for a grassroots launch. Because my family, friends, and fans streamed “Here Right Now” 10,000 times in a week, Spotify launched it out into sixty-two countries. You can be the sunlight to my tree!

1. Follow my artist profile on Spotify.

2. Like the song and add it to your playlists.
If you don’t have any playlists, make one of songs that make you feel badass and make “Sorry ‘Bout Your Boyfriend” the title!

3. Stream the song on repeat.
Even if you’re not actively listening, streaming the song on repeat increases the plays and encourages Spotify to share it with new people.

To celebrate the release of “Sorry ‘Bout Your Boyfriend,”
I’m putting on a live stream show – Sunday at 7:00 pm.

I’ll be live on both Facebook and Instagram.
Join me to dance, chat, and listen to live acoustic music!


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